to the unseen powers of fate

i pray that i'll not regret this.

i'm having a deja vu right now. a few months back, before the start of the semester, i looked at my final stars planner timetable and took a leap of faith that i'll balance out com427 and com231 just fine. okay. so maybe i didn't just take a look at it. i stared at it for an hour. i remembered because i got hungry after staring at the laptop screen for so long. so the matter disintegrated into a screw-it-i'm-getting-breakfast-it'll-work-out-just-fine.

today, i spent an afternoon staring at the laptop screen again, wondering the question of phase 1 or phase 2. they say to look before you leap, so i'm looking down from the edge. i'm liking what i see, but not the height i'm seeing it from. because while it's great to be doing the things you like and feel for, i'm starting to feel the burn of this semester's lifestyle, and i'm not sure i still have the positivity to keep this up for another half year.

so to the powers that be, if it amuses you, show me a sign. throw me a penny from the heavens, pass me a message through my alphabet soup, or anything. let me know whether i made the right choice, or if i'm better off as a grape farmer in some scenic grapevine and a grinning border collie beside me.

i have the biggest urge to drop everything on my plate, sit down, and grow mushrooms on my head.